Me and my brother used to make radio station tapes (we were 11/12). He got a new stereo for his birthday and I thought I’d do some comedy by pulling down my pants, squatting over it and farting. I ended up pushing too hard and covered it in shit
— GP (@GtotheP) June 29, 2018
I trust they just tossed out the sound system and he purchased his sibling another one. There’s no cleaning that machine once you comprehend what befell it.
The following one could have turned out horribly.
Late night out with mates stayed at mates new place spare room in big shared house. Got up in night for wee went back to bed. Woke up next morning in bed with landlords sleeping 12 year old twin sons with landlord standing over me. Right room Wrong floor.
— Matney Self (@MatneyComedy) June 30, 2018
Unintentionally entering and nodding off in an inappropriate condo appears as though grounds to be shot out right away.
This person lucked out.
At some work event once I said to someone “You look really familiar somehow. Have we ever met before?” and they said “Yes. Over there, about an hour ago.” 😖🔫 https://t.co/N2JH2lSdir
— Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) June 30, 2018
Have you at any point done that?
The comparable thing that I do is I energetically recount to individuals accounts of things that occurred, and afterward they go, “Better believe it, I was there with you.”
At the hospital with my daughter. Doc comes in and says they've run some tests and she's fine to go home. I say great, we'll get out of your hair then.
He had alopecia.
— Ems (@thebrainsports) June 29, 2018
Once more, the language, the expressions we have, they are once in a while so wrong.
I once chipped a bone in my ankle and each time the A&E doctor lifted my leg to look at it, I would let out a massive fart. This happened 3 times. On the 3rd time the Dr asked “Beans for lunch, sir?”
— Lee G (@LeeGathercole) June 29, 2018
Farts are rarely not amusing.
I love that the specialist genuinely approached him in the event that he had beans for lunch.